Dancer in the Dark (2000)

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It's been over a week and the utterly depressing aura around this film is still heavy upon me, so viewer beware.

From the very beginning, this film moves to straddle between nostalgia and a weirdly disassociated emotional spectrum with a very haunting and mesmerizing sequence, an homage to the films of Golden Age Hollywood that would start with abstract shifting coloration while the score swelled in the background.

It is a strikingly beautiful film, full of gorgeous and rich, even if bleak, art-direction and compositions.  Almost entirely achieved through the heavy use of close-ups and medium shots, with no establishing shots whatsoever, which, here, I don't mind at all.  And that's rare.

One of the most striking things, is the way the sound is edited and mixed to create a 3D space, even through the prism of a stereo speaker, with sound sometimes emanating from behind, forcing me to jump and question my sanity, and consequently that of the characters and filmmakers.
 
The compositions are a direct response to the fact that the film seems to have been almost exclusively shot with one camera and improvised, making retakes and b-roll an impossibility.  This in turn forces the editing to be jaunting, abrupt, and as far from textbook clean editing as possible.  But the film draws from this disjointedness instead of suffering at the hand of it, creating an ingrained sense of sadness and depression.

In this task, the camera work and editing are aided by the palette of a very dry and bleak cinematography, completely devoid of color and full of textures and patterns, which although the film doesn't specifically pinpoint the location, places itself somewhere between the back hills of Appalachia and the Midwest of the Dust Bowl.

Speaking of things undefined, there's a very nostalgic, weirdly unnervingly so, feeling to the film, which is never resolved.  Leaving one to question what the filmmakers are trying to make us nostalgic for and why? Is it the 1950s, playing card in bike spoke and all, or is the narrative caught in the weird flux of time that seems characteristic of factory towns raptured from their long gone affluence?

Artwork for Foreign Theatrical Release

For people who grew up with two memories of Bjork, an eerie voice and a swan dress, here her acting really shines, which is no easy task considering the stellar performance from the entire cast.  Her character struggles between being simple and complex, strong and weak, feminine and masculine, victim and stubborn cause of her own complications, like a weird Sisyphus trying to fight a rock she can't see or comprehend.  A good wounded bird and despot, a depressing protagonist, and a relatively hard one to stomach through her faults.

This film is painful, even before the inevitable end, a truly gut-wrenchingly painful film that had me not just crying, but bull blown bawling!

I hate whoever told me to watch this film, it's so beautiful even if cringe worthy, a la Shame (2011).

Go rent this film, it's worth hunting down, just make sure you're in the mood for it.

The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

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Wes Anderson is as much a hard sell as Woody Allen or even Orson Welles to most people, and that's really a shame.  Wes Anderson's quirkiness could quite possibly rival anything Fox is dishing out with New Girl and the Mindy Project, but he does so while overloading the audience with a scintillating array of visual, aural, and oftentimes tactile essence, that the mainstream stumbles backwards away from the pure enjoyment of his films.

The Darjeeling Limited falls easily within the same vein, even if it has been forgotten mostly in the last five years.

This film is the perfect autumnal solstice film, and not just because the color palette snatches what one would expect in a 60 second psychedelic high-end apartment.  It is reflective, a bit depressive, while being at the same time gleeful, and hopeful.

Wes has a very specific style, very recognizable, sound design and all.  And they all function incredibly well together.  The dynamism of all the cinematic aspects functioning together in almost perfect, if not euphoric, synchronicity, is truly awe inspiring.

The script is brilliantly complex, even if missing a word or two while you savor the beauty of the previous deters from that.  Which fits the mood of the camerawork, editing, sound design and score all brilliantly cacophonous when needed and devoid of everything, all meticulously orchestrated by the Willie Wonka of cinephiles.

Perfectly, interestingly, awe-inspiringly organized mayhem.

Artwork for Criterion Release

What's most interesting and innovative about the film, is the use of the kinly relationship as a form for structuring the narrative.  This coupled with the dialectical symmetry and the way the cinematography supports and uppends both, is sheer  brilliance.

The slow motion shots in the funeral and the tracking shots of the eponymous train, including the final one, are utterly beautiful, stunningly breathtaking, and two weeks after the viewing are the most stunning fleeting memories of the film.

Very enjoyable, even if the narrative sometimes feel like it hasn't moved much, and here I think, might be the larger egress for the mainstream audience, but this should, in no way, prevent someone from enjoying this truly remarkable and beautifully eclectic film.

Buy this film on Blu-ray, Criterion and all.  The cinematography is worth the price tag alone.

Nude Nuns with Big Guns (2010)

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The best part of this b-film, is the concept.  You don't get more grindhouse than a naked nun with a gun, unless maybe she's hunting aliens or has been exploded to 50 feet tall.  (I wanted to go with engorged, but chose the classier route)

If you're looking for more traditional b-film fare, then look no further than the pathetic acting and the infantile green-screen in the opening scene.

The acting of the protagonist Asun Ortega, bothers me.  There's a fine line between bad acting and bad acting in grindhouse films, and Ortega exceeds in  falling on the non-enjoyable side.  I don't believe it's on purpose, (although if it is, she's brilliant) but her characterization of Sister Sarah (notice the English spelling) swings wildly and purposeless from sweet and sympathetic to crazed and back to sweet.  And that's annoying.

Really annoying.
The cinematography, in spite of its b-filminess,  was phenomenal, which sometimes works against the film itself.  It's so good, that it manages to get your hopes up, and in doing so makes the inter-titles feel ill conceived, and ill advised.

The cinematography is very emblematic of grindhouse films of the glory days of these films, minus the grit and dirt that were really part of the charm.  It often felt, watching those films, like you were giving your cousin a solid by watching his film, and that was great, part of the ethos of their crappiness.

The editing itself is bad, from conception to execution.  Too fast when it's not called for, and too slow when I wish it wouldn't be.  Feeling, often, like nails on a chalkboard, next to a wailing infant, in a padded room, with a cacophony of bees.  And then some.

My wife Barbs loves the script, which should be a nice reaffirmation that it's horrible.  And that's not a knock on my Babs.  Her taste in good literature usually leans towards The Illiad and Kamu, but she also has a soft spot for poopie jokes and a good boobie pun, and here this film excels for her (read: not for me).

You know you have a stinker when said afore mentioned Barbara, turns to me, mid grindhouse cuddle-fest, and proclaims, "I don't like the inconsistencies or the weird flow."

The first half was not bad, but the second half seemed to get too boggled in its own plot and forwent the fun and excitement of the first half, and because it's in that order, it leaves you with an empty feeling at the end, and an empathy towards the film that is not fair to the first half of the film, which is thoroughly enjoyable.

If you're gonna go a grindhouse film, stick to the shtick and don't get too complicated with a plot.  Loose the habit (or everything but), and start shooting some mother effers, that's what I was expecting and loved the first half for that, but the second half was lacking in that, and the final shootout, although great, still doesn't compensate.

Sample of bad GFXs sadly emblematic of this film.

Ergo, forgo this film in any format, unless you are a glutton for punishment, and you might be it, I won't judge.  In which case watch a bad dub on YouTube, it might remind you more of the grindhouse films of yesteryear, minus the part-time professional filmmakers here present.

If you want a thoroughly enjoyable b-film homage, watch Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies (2012).  Please.  For your sake.

Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies (2012)

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 B-film heaven, with a grain of salt.

All you really have to do is look at the title to understand where this film is coming from.  But unlike the borderline brilliant consummation between haute literature and goth culture that was all the rage four years ago, the artwork makes it clear where Mr. Lincoln stands on this one.

Once you forgo all conceptions of great film and just decide to watch a thoroughly enjoyable film, than this one is tops.

You need not look further than the hillarious fake mustaches or the horribly mishapen torso of one Stonewall to realize that you are not looking for perfection.

And neither shall you get it.

And thank god for that, because the film is full of anachronisms, bad lines, horrible scripting, questionable CGI, inumerable plot holes, and one apropos presidential menagerie that is a wheelchair short of being A League of Extraordinary Executive Men.

But that's not really the point here is it?

There is talent present, specially the actor portraying the eponymous hero, Bill Oberst Jr.  Raw talent, but talent nonetheless.  And the music is pretty inspiring, even if cliche at times.

If for no other reason, watch this film for two things.  Towards the end there is a beautiful and creepy, but still very appropiate rendition of the Battle Hymn of the Republic, which one could put alongside Elvis Presley's cover.

Does the term cover apply to battle marches?  Oh well.

The other, is a very memorable line by one Mr. Lincoln, to his anachronistically young sidekick, of sorts. "Remember Teddy, a man divided against himself, cannot stand!"  Wack!  Off comes a head.

Go ahead roll your eyes, it truly is merited, but if you intend to watch this film, than be prepared to do atleast thirty reps of stretching your eye muscles, in order to avoid macular degeneration.

There will be eye-rolling.  Lots of it.  Coupled with tons of laughter and head shaking, but that's the joy of these films, and as such, this film far exceeded my expectations.

If you love B-films, buy this film, it's worth it.  Much better in substance and technicality than the forced cult film Snakes on a Plane (2006).

Enjoy it for prosperity, just be sure to pack it in your closet next to your copy of Paris Hilton's first LP, lest your neighbors judge.

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addendum

To those that are thinking that this is a major rip on Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (2012), the trailers at the header of the movie dispel all doubt:  American Battleship (2012), Grimm's Snow White (2012), etc.

Boy Wonder (2010)

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I have two serious problems with the poster on the right, review to come.  Number one, it paints this kid as a sort of urban superhero, which he is not.  And number 2, it gives credence to The Huffington Post for the bottom quote, which is impossible, unless the Citizens United case was right.  

I wonder.

Anyway, away we go.  The film can be summed up in the second sequence of shots in the film.  There, we find the protagonist running around this beautifully eerie foggy park.  It is breathtakingly beautiful, and thankfully the script  is nowhere to be sensed.

This film has one strong suit for it, it's shallow focus cinematography and small gems of good acting (read: very small gems).

The editing is pretty decent, even if uneven; and the same could be said regarding its music, score, and sound design.

The sad thing is, that depending on how much weight you lend the script and the acting, those decent factors might not be good enough to compensate enough to make this film watchable.

My notepaper is littered with exclamations of hatred for the script, plot expositions, bad lines, horrible plot holes, oxymoron, and almost anything else you can pinpoint in a bad script.

I personally did not think the cinematography was good enough to warrant me watching this indie film alone.

If Girlfight (2000) is your only foray into independent film, than watch this, it is definitely better.  If instead, you have a history of enjoying indie films forgo this one and maybe watch a really good foreign film that deals with a similar subject in a more powerful and successful way The Secret in Their Eyes (2009).

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addendum  

IMDb lists a remake of The Secret in Their Eyes (2009) although all the details are yet to be listed...please go watch the original Argentine film before the remake makes its way through Hollywood.

Last time they remade an Argentine film, Nine Queens (2000) into Criminal (2004), it was a horrible waste of time and money.

And this coming from the guy who would watch Your Highness (2011) again.

Business is Dead (2011)

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I came across this delightful short film almost entirely by serendipity, and what a joy it was.

Halfway between the raw enjoyment of Mean Streets (1973) and the beautiful uncomfortableness of The Godfather (1972) and a hell of a gorgeous bit of film.

The story itself should be recognizable to anybody with a decent memory, but the imaginative mix of goomba comedy and mafia drama is perfectly fit for this true to the grit Jersey City film.

Written and Directed by Vito LaBruno and shot in a mixture of Cinema Verite and conventional film, it is an easy film to find, check YouTube.

I would say watch it now.  It's only 12 minutes, but it might be taken down once this mook hits it big in bling town.

Attack the Block (2011)

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I expected very little from this film, but the trailer looked great, and I settled for at the very least getting some enjoyment out of this film.  That coupled with the fact that my wife adores horrible B films and a rainy Saturday in Jersey City; and I was half forced to watch this.

I was sorely wrong:  I ended up loving the film.  It was funny, witty, not cartoonish, a bit scary, and very well shot.

 As a social criticism of poverty and the characters it creates, it stands above many other films in its genre.  That criticism is subtle and in your face at the same time, and never two dimensional.  It manages to strike the characters in the film with the same 'Aha!' moment as it does the audience, and never truly feels forced.

As with many other films there is a striking difference between those shots that are utilitarian and those that are artistic or symbolic, but since I expected nothing from the film, they are the equivalent of discovering small pearls in the sand when you dig your toes in.

I will be buying this film for my collection in the future, and suggest you do the same before Hollywood buys this and remakes it in the US.

Sadly, there isn't the same amount of ghetto militarism in the US as there is in Europe, and the aftertaste would be a bit bitter and racist at the same time.

Au revoir!

Café (2011)

Cover for DVD release

What a pity.  I put this on while my wife was at work as my usual guilty pleasure.  Actually the same reason I watch Ghost Whisperer on Ion in the middle of the day, even if all the episodes seem the same.

This film falls pitifully short on every regard.  If you watch it because of Jennifer Love Hewitt, fail.  If you watch it for enjoyment, fail.  As a matter of fact, I can't find a good reason to watch this movie.

It's fair to claim that the original concept might have been good, and that the filmmakers look like they are trying really hard to make this a good, symbolic, life altering movie.  But it gets in the way of itself, trying to overcomplicate itself, often time for no other reason than because it can.

Even if you like bad movies, you'll hate this.  It falls smack in the middle between the third matrix in its philosophical attempts, a bad Lifetime movie in its script and execution, and reality TV in its unimaginative frame composition.

Fellini - Satyricon (1969)

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Loved it!  Is it disjointed, yes.  Is it perplexing, yes.  Is the subject matter a bit unnerving, of course, but that to a certain degree is what makes it palatable.

On IMDb, Satyricon gets a measly 6.7, but I think this grossly underestimates the power of the film.  As with Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001), I'm sure the subject matter drives a good chunk of people away from it.  But just like Hedwig, if you look beyond your own prejudices and distastes, there is a beautiful love story, or more succinctly a beautiful story, told well.

The cinematography is phenomenal, and for those that approach films like classic books (i.e. looking for alliteration, foreshadowing, hyperboles, etc) Fellini seems to be a master of that.

The only possible detriment to the movie, and I don't think it's the film itself, is the quality of the print I was looking at.  I wonder if a bluRay reissue would take the time to clean the film to get rid of the excess of scratches that my DVD version had.

Apart from such trivialities, the film was spotless, and deserves it's place in the pantheon of classics.